How do we forgive when we have been seriously hurt or injured by someone we love or was supposed to love us? I’m not going to lie. This is a very difficult thing to do. But there is hope. With the help of God, all things are possible. And you may need to seek professional help.

But if you hear nothing else, please hear this. You are precious in the eyes of God. You were created in God’s image. You were woven in your mother’s womb. In other words, God formed your DNA. He wanted you to be born. You are not an accident. Your parents might have had an accidental pregnancy. But you were no accident. And your value isn’t determined by other’s actions. Your value is determined by your heavenly Father. Please know that sad isn’t bad. While it is very sad that you were seriously hurt. You are not bad. You are not guilty of their mistakes.

So how do you move on? How do you release your anger and resentment? One thing that might help is to remind yourself that as a child of God you are commanded to forgive. Not only forgive them, but in other verses were told to pray for them. This may seem ridiculous at first. But if you consider that God is a God that gave his Son for you, you know how much he loves you. He’s not asking you to do this for no reason. Obviously, there must be a better reason. But what could that reason be? Could it be that God knows what you need most is to turn your pain over to him. And let him carry it for you? Could it be through prayer you can speak directly to Jesus. Who knows what it is to be innocent and to suffer, even to die, having done nothing wrong.

I think another thing we must remember is that forgiveness is not acting as if what was done is okay. Or acting as if it never happened. Forgiveness does not  remove any punishment they may have to serve for breaking the law. Forgiveness does not allow them to pull you down. It’s like trying to save someone who is drowning. If they try and drown you with them, you are not required to save them. That is not love. That is foolishness.

There is an old Chinese proverb that says, “He who seeks revenge should remember to dig two graves.” The longer you hold resentment and anger inside of you, you are burying yourself alive.  In the first chorus of “Burdens are lifted at calvary,” it says,

Days are filled with sorrow and care

Hearts are lonely and drear
Burdens are Lifted at Calvary
Jesus is very near

Remember surrendering to Jesus at calvary is where your burdens are lifted. And as you grow closer to God, he draws closer to you. Jesus becomes near. I am very sorry others didn’t see the value in you or live up to their responsibilities. But the truth is, if you don’t release it, you will end up drowning in it. And if you’re not careful, you will pass down the same guilt to your children one day. To break the curse, you must learn to forgive.