Relationships

The Ideal Congregation (Pt. 6)

Posted on by Bob Mathews

The ideal congregation works well with others and strives to deepen godly fellowship with other faithful though imperfect members.  Paul’s working relationship with the Philippians is set in a positive light and provides an example for us (Philippians 4:3).  John expressed interest in promoting godly fellowship as he addressed first century Christians (1 John 1:3).

Working well with others contributes to deeper and stronger fellowship among faithful children of God.  Those who have achieved a quality working relationship with their co-workers do not place an emphasis upon personal power, prestige, influence, or position.  Generally, their personal needs become secondary to the welfare of the body of Christ.  Rather, these seek the position and work for which they are best suited in the local congregation (1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12, Matthew 25:14-30).  Through such efforts fellowship is promoted and qualitatively impacted.

A further strengthening of our fellowship may also be achieved through joint activities designed to provide opportunities to both understand and appreciate one another.  Additionally, by seeking a common understanding of spiritual issues and developing a kindred spirit and like-values, we may very well avoid spiritual pitfalls which have the capacity to challenge the strength and quality of our fellowship.  May we have the courage to invest much labor in the maintenance and improvement of our godly fellowship.

The ideal congregation lives peaceably with others.  The apostle Paul, in admonishing Christians in Rome, said,  “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men” (Romans 12:18).  Though the attitudes and actions of others may impact our personal contexts unfavorably, we yet have obligation based on divine instruction to employ our full capacity to promote peaceful co-existence among others, including those who may not appreciate us personally.

In living peacefully among all men, may we see the wisdom in never allowing any judgmental issue to generate division, especially in the lord’s church (Romans 14).  Some have expressed the fear that we may , on the one hand, intellectually and theologically recognize the wisdom and righteousness of this course while, on the other hand, we fail to regularly practice that which we know to be right in these matters.  May we as well never allow personal pride to hamper relationships in our search for peaceful co-existence.  Though peace is a wonderful and biblical goal to fervently pursue, may our allegiance to the word of God never be sacrificed in the pursuit of peace.  If we cannot maintain peace with men, though seeking it, let us maintain reconciliation and peace with God through faithfulness unto His Word.  After all is said and done, peace with all men will be within our reach when the mass of society, including faithful Christians, truly commits themselves to faithful Christian conduct.  May the Lord bless us in our search for peace.

The Ideal Congregation (Pt. 5)

Posted on by Bob Mathews

The ideal congregation responds in a positive manner to the plans of its leadership, especially when a congregation is led by an appointed godly eldership.  Christians were exhorted to “obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: For they watch for your souls, as they that must give account…” (Heb. 13:17).  On the one hand, we must obey our elders both in matters of faith and matters of judgment as such concerns the work and well-being of the local congregation.  On the other hand, may our elders have the courage and vision to plan the work of the congregation so that unity, truth, and the mission of the church are supported and fulfilled.

To achieve and maintain the above aspirations, we as members should establish and nurture a trusting, respectful relationship with our elders.  The effort required to do so must be reciprocal, all parties making their best effort to work well together.  Additionally, may we respond to leadership plans by seeking out an active role in the actual implementation of the work.  If improvements are needed or desired in our cooperative efforts, may we employ well-timed constructive criticism whose only goal is to assist in improving our work.  In this manner we will bring a greater measure of glory to both the Father and the church as we struggle together to do the work of the Lord.

The ideal congregation practices liberality in both attitude and action, especially as such relates to the planning, organization and implementation of individual or congregational spiritual labors.  The apostle Paul, in commending liberality, encouraged the brethren in Corinth to sow bountifully (2 Cor. 9:6) and to “ lay by him in store as God hath prospered him“ (1 Cor. 16:2).  He set before the congregation the sacrificial liberality of the Macedonians to motivate them unto similar action (2 Cor. 8:1-7).

Liberality may be rightfully exercised in contexts that may not involve financial interests and be equally important and impacting.  May we as the people of God better learn the art of liberality in mercy (Col. 3:12) and compassion (Matt. 18:21-35), thereby relieving others’ affliction as prompted by a heart that is truly touched by their distress.  May we better develop loving concern for all men (Rom. 13:8) so that we better imitate our heavenly Father (Eph. 5:1; John 3:16).  May we exercise liberality in the commitment and use of both our time and our talents in the work of the Lord (Matt. 25:14-30).  Such liberality is wisely exercised in all good works that the Father demands of us individually.  In order to successfully attain the worthy goal of liberality, may we be as the Macedonians who first gave themselves unto the Lord (2 Cor. 8:5).  Only then may we prosper as we never have before.

Good Companions

Posted on by Bob Mathews

Those with whom we share close and intimate relationships, our companions in this life, are important to each of us.  We share with them the heights of our joy and the depths of our sorrow.  With confidence we entrust them with intimate details of our on-going struggles of life.  They are permitted to see us when we are at our weakest and most vulnerable moments. We depend upon them to provide comfort and consolation when we fail ourselves or when others fail us.  They see us when we are hurt and when we are sorely disappointed in self as we hurt others. Simply put, they see us in the full bloom of imperfect humanity.  Accordingly, those whom we choose as companions, ones being given the innermost seat close to our minds and hearts, should surely be selected carefully.  The choices we make concerning our companions may invite either rich blessings or abundant trials.

The apostle Paul spoke well when he said, “Evil companionships corrupt good morals” (1 Cor. 15:33, ASV).  He was wisely guided when he implored us not to be deceived about these matters.  Yes, there are some close associations that we establish in this life which are truly reprehensible as measured morally. We need to more wisely determine which associations are “evil” and which are good.  Whether we be young or old, the principle stated by Paul in 1 Cor. 15:33 applies to us individually and is an important factor in determining our way in life.  I trust that your life’s journey will be sweetened by companions who are worthy of the position they hold in your life.  May life’s blessings be multiplied as you are accompanied by good companions who meet the standards of the Lord.

A touching example of good companionship between friends is the intimate friendship between David, who eventually served as king of Israel, and Jonathan, the son of King Saul.  This valued relationship was established as Jonathan witnessed his father’s jealousy of David which led King Saul to seek the life of the young David.  He subsequently fled as Jonathan courageously warned him of the impending danger to his life.

A review of this friendship reveals a remarkable set of characteristics.  The record affirms that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David.  Spiritually, they were chained together as they both trusted in God and one another.  The great measure of Jonathan’s love for David is evident as he loved David as his own soul, allowing his home to become the home of David, and establishing a covenant between them.

Jonathan extended to David great honor, though Jonathan was the son of the reigning monarch.  Jonathan gave to David his personal clothing, thus symbolically surrendering the throne to David.  Though he was commanded to kill David, Jonathan never obeyed his father in this matter.  He refused to follow such an evil course because of his own personal upstanding character and because of the great delight that he experienced in his relationship with the young David. Rather than obey his wicked father, Jonathan betrayed his father’s plot to kill him. The companionship that existed between David and Jonathan is our example today.  May we so choose our friends and companions that we will be inclined to draw ever close to them in a productive, meaningful, and fulfilling relationship which evidences the righteousness of the Father in heaven.

A further review of the friendship between Jonathan and David is noteworthy.  Not only did Jonathan betray his father’s plot to kill David, he also encouraged David to hide from his father. Both in spirit and in action Jonathan was faithful to the good companionship existing between him and David, even to the extent that he would undermine King Saul’s wicked plans.  This is further evidenced as Jonathan promised to inform David of his private discussions with King Saul about him.

Jonathan not only worked directly with David on his behalf but he also sought to influence his father concerning David.  Jonathan courageously spoke well of David to the king, presenting David as innocent and as one who treated King Saul very well.  This stands in contrast to Jonathan’s description of his father’s actions as sinful and as one who acted without just cause toward David.  Jonathan’s influence was effective in assisting David and King Saul to restore their relationship. Though the good relationship between David and the king would not endure, Jonathan continued to hold David’s trust, as David fled to Jonathan to learn why Saul sought his life.  Jonathan’s love for his friend endured.  He viewed David graciously, pledging to do anything that David wanted, even to reveal his father’s true intent toward David under penalty of death.  He promised to send David away from his father and desired the Lord to be with him.  As they parted from one another, they kissed and wept.  Their friendship and companionship, marked with trust, loyalty, sacrifice, and commitment, endured through the challenges of life.  In response to the death of Jonathan, David said, “I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.”  If only all our companionships were so tender and precious.

Domino Effect

Posted on by Bob Mathews

The best way to avoid a pattern of negative choices is to seek wisdom from God to make good choices from the start. That’s the ultimate way to live as a follower of Jesus—fueling our daily decisions with God’s wisdom! That can lead to a positive domino effect, where one good choice leads to another good choice—and on and on it goes. And thankfully, because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, we can be forgiven and set back upright again even when we do make a poor choice.

Proverbs 3:5-8 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all you ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in our own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body And refreshment to your bones.”

Jesus cares about your decisions. Think of some choices you made today or this week, do you feel good about those choices? Are there some choices you would like to go back in time to change? In the passage we read, we’re warned to not rely on our own understanding. Why is that so hard to do? Because we like to be in control.

It’s true that God is in charge of everything, but he cares deeply about us and about all the little choices we make in everyday life. Jesus has the wisdom we need to make solid choices, and he wants to give that wisdom to us!

Your choices affect other people. I’m sure that all of you can remember a choice someone else made that affected you, either positively or negatively. God designed us to live life together, not alone. What’s one wise choice you’ve made that’s improved your relationships with other people?

Most of us know that relationships—with friends, family, colleagues, classmates, teammates—are really important. But sometimes we forget how much better those relationships could be if we sought wisdom from Jesus. The next time you’re about to make a choice that you know will affect someone else, ask Jesus to help you make the right decision. This Scripture says he’ll show you the right path to take.

Your choices either build up or tear down your reputation. Think about this: You can quickly gain a bad reputation because of one bad choice, and then it can take a long time to get rid of that bad reputation. Like it or not, our choices cause people to see us in a certain way. As Christians, we bear the name of Jesus Christ. We can make choices that honor him and reflect him.

Listen to this statement: “It can take five minutes to gain a bad reputation and a year to lose that bad reputation.” Do you know anyone in your life that has proven this statement to be true? If so, what can you learn from that person’s situation? Not trying to say we have to be perfect, but simply trying every day to be better.

What’s one choice you can start with today to create a positive domino effect in your relationship with the Lord?